What does it mean when God says that David is a man after His own heart? (1 Samuel 13:14)
Currently manhood is under attack in the media, we hear phrases like "toxic masculinity" and "I don't need a man!" People are angry, I think there is a bit of confusion as to what manhood is supposed to look like.
When there is no husband in the home, family life suffers. Men and women were built differently. We have different strengths and weaknesses and we were made tow work together.
The Biblical man requires a Biblical woman, something that we will touch on a but later.
Genesis 1:26 "Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” ESV
So man was made in the image (not physical likeness) of God, to have dominion. To rule. God created a physical realm, for us to rule over.
Genesis 2:18 "Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” ESV
I started thinking about what a Biblical man would look like, he is:
- a provider
- head of the home
- gentle and loving toward his family
- willing to stand up and fight for what he believes in
- a man of faith, trusting God and not his own strength or wisdom (Proverbs 3:3-5)
- mature
He is not:
- filled with pride or arrogant
- someone who tries to abuse people
- selfish
- willing to win an argument at all costs, no matter the pain caused
- a man with an out of control temper
- someone who swears and hurts others with his words
- does not have time for God.
This is already a mouthful. I then set out to find what the Bible says about men and found some very insightful scriptures on the subject (some verses are applicable to men and women).
A servant
John 13:1-5 "Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. 2 During supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray him, 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, 4 rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist. 5 Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him." ESV
Jesus shows us again that in the kingdom of God, things should happen differently. If you go to visit the president, you will not find him parking the guests cars, or serving refreshments. He is the one being served and surrounded by servants. In the kingdom of God - Jesus shows us that even the greatest is a servant. We are to continually look outward and see how we can serve. A Biblical man is not afraid to serve others. If called upon, are you willing to serve tea or clean the church toilets?
When Jesus served He did it with humility, never drawing attention to Himself. He was not busy putting on a show, nor did He do things to be seen or complemented by people.
Depends on God and the Bible
Luke 4:4 And Jesus answered him, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone.’” ESV
Yes we need to eat, but we need more than just nourishment for our bones. We need to spend time in the Word of God, allowing Him to minister to and teach us.
Family life: Love your wife
Ephesians 5:23 "For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior." ESV
The husband is the head of the home, it is not a struggle between the man and woman to see who will lead.
Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" ESV
The man is called to love his wife, not to dominate her or to beat her into submission.
Family life: Children
Ephesians 6:4 "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." ESV
Fathers are called to discipline their children, why? Because children need boundaries. There is right and wrong and children need to be taught what is right and safe, as well as that there are consequences for wrong behaviour. Once again, the call is not there to dominate the children, but to love them.
Family life: The provider
1 Timothy 5:8 "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." ESV
The husband is hard wired to be a provider, to work and look after his family. Men that are lazy and do not want to work need a wake up call! It is not your wife's job to put food on the table! The cost of living is high in many places and in a lot of families both the husband and wife need to work.
Please remember that if the husband has lost his job and is struggling, that is not the same as someone who is healthy and able to work, but choses not to.
His conduct
Matthew 5:37 "When you make a promise, say only "Yes" or "No." Anything else comes from the devil." CEV
Rather be honest, say no when you mean no. Don't promise to do things you never intend doing. Someone like that is difficult to trust.
Colossians 3:12-14 "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." ESV
See the picture, you put on love like a jacket. It covers you, becomes part of your identity even.
Titus 2:7-8 "Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, 8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us." ESV
Please remember that when God expects us to do good works - He expects us to accomplish this through faith in Him and through the power of the Holy Spirit. We cannot achieve Biblical Manhood by our own strength.
His words
Ephesians 4:15 "Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ," ESV
In closing
The Biblical man needs a Biblical woman in his life, but am I prepared to be that Biblical man for my wife and children? Am I prepared to love and provide for them? The father has an emotional support role to his children. To his daughters he teaches them that they are precious and loves, to his sons he models how to treat women and how to be a godly leader.
When the father is missing from the home, the family unit is severely lacking - not because the woman is bad at her job, but because she has different strengths to him. Soon I will be posting on Biblical Womanhood, these two topics flow together and we see how God designed family life.
